Send Shower Invitations to Attend Something Different
I have some good friends who are pregnant for the first time and due this next month. I offered to throw them a baby shower. They were a little wary at first. Given that they are not the kind of people who like to be in the spotlight, I was not surprised. “So, you just send out baby shower invitations and people have to buy you things?” They asked. Given that I myself am an outspoken opponent of any shower that makes people feel obligated to buy something, I saw their point and wanted to come up with something different. But a baby shower serves a very legitimate and community oriented purpose. A lot of brides and grooms are waiting until later in life to get married. Most of them are well established in their careers and already have everything they need for their homes. Unlike when the bridal shower was first created, many couples do not need assistance with the basic things needed for a house. Guests receiving bridal shower invitations should be asked to help celebrate, not reach into their pocketbooks. Friends and family will always want to give gifts anyway, but you want them to feel unencumbered and inspired when doing so.
That brings us back to the baby shower for my friends. I assured them that guests receiving baby shower invitations would be the same people who were overcome with a desire to help as soon as they heard the news of the pregnancy. Expectant first time parents do not have diapers, cribs and baby clothes hanging around the house, regardless of how much money they make. When you are expecting your first child, you have no idea what you need and where to start. Having a baby shower allows people who know what they are doing to lend a hand and give you some things they think will be special or helpful. The only thing that kept our first baby sleeping happily at night was a sleep sack, yet we would have never even tried such a thing if someone had not given it to us as a shower gift. A good number of other guests who will be sent shower invitations may not know the first thing about being pregnant or bringing a baby home. Those guests have been looking for a good reason to go into that baby boutique and buy you the softest baby blanket known to man.
We decided to go with a theme that made my friends feel like they were not setting an expectation of lots of gifts. I sent out shower invitations for a “Wisdom and Wives Tales” party. Guests were asked to contribute some kind of baby safety item (outlet protectors, baby gate, baby monitor, etc) and some kind of nursery supply item. I also asked the people who were given shower invitations for the best piece of knowledge they received before they had a baby, and the most ridiculous thing masquerading as advice they had received. I printed up and gave credit for all the input in two separate books (one for the good advice; the other, for the ridiculous stuff) for the couple to have. They loved the books and the fact that their friends and family offered such great advice and funny stories. They were, of course, now stocked with diapers, cream, magazines for labor and delivery, swaddling blankets, lullaby CDs, etc. The baby shower invitations did not set forth any expectation of gifts beyond the scope of the theme. I am almost certain everyone gave something in addition to the supplies and safety items specified in the invitation. But everyone seemed to enjoy offering support, advice and humor to the expectant couple. And that is what it is all about.